My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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