he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
