I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
