What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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