So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
