I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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