At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
