He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
