Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
