remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
