I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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