We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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