You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
