it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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