Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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