Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
