He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm passing your future prison.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......