btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
40s are totally the cure
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on