Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
