My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
