im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He shit in the fireplace
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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