Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
