It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
