its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
