I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
