I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
