Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
