I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.