Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it penis luge time yet?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
