Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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