If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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