i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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