So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
