if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
