Ketchup is God's man juice
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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