so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We need to get me chipped asap
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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