I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
