in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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