there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Come see our sink grown plant.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
