I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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