New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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