please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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