I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
someone owes me an orgasm
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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