you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
