I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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