apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
