You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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