My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
