can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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