Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
