I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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