i may or may not be watching the land before time
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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