So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize