How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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