So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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