Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
