I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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