I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
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Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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