My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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