if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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