I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
