Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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