the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
