3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
