is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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