Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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